Beloved, kindness is more than just being polite or agreeable. It is the active expression of love, the choice to reflect the heart of Christ even in difficult situations. Kindness is not about weakness or avoiding confrontation—it is about responding with grace, patience, and humility when faced with conflict.
In our journey Rooted in Virtue, this month we focus on kindness—a virtue that transforms relationships, diffuses hostility, and reflects the character of God. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1 (NASB):
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
When we practice kindness, especially in times of conflict, we demonstrate the power of God at work in our hearts. True kindness is not merely an emotion; it is an intentional response shaped by the Holy Spirit.
What Is Kindness?
Kindness is love in action. It is compassion expressed through our words, attitudes, and actions, even when we are tested by conflict. It is choosing gentleness over harshness, patience over frustration, and peace over strife.
Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), meaning it is not something we manufacture on our own but something that grows in us as we walk with Christ. Ephesians 4:32 (NASB) reminds us:
“Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
In other words, kindness is a reflection of God’s own nature. He has shown us immeasurable kindness in forgiving us, redeeming us, and extending grace when we did not deserve it. As His children, we are called to do the same for others.
Four Ways to Respond to Conflict with Kindness
1. Kindness Listens Before It Speaks
One of the greatest acts of kindness is the willingness to listen before reacting. Many conflicts escalate because we rush to defend ourselves rather than truly hearing the other person’s heart. James 1:19 (NASB) gives us this wisdom:
“You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters: now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
Kindness in conflict means seeking to understand before responding. It requires humility, patience, and a heart that prioritizes peace over being “right.”
Application: The next time you feel tension rising in a conversation, pause. Take a deep breath. Listen carefully, ask questions, and seek to understand before speaking.
2. Kindness Chooses Words That Heal, Not Harm
Words have the power to build up or tear down. When emotions run high, it is easy to lash out with sharp words, but Colossians 4:6 (NASB) reminds us:
“Your speech must always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”
Kindness in conflict means choosing words that bring healing rather than destruction. This does not mean avoiding truth, but it does mean speaking truth with love and wisdom.
Application: Before you speak in conflict, ask yourself: Will my words bring healing or harm? Let your words reflect the grace of Christ.
3. Kindness Forgives, Even When It’s Hard
At the heart of kindness is forgiveness. Many conflicts remain unresolved because of bitterness, pride, or an unwillingness to let go of past hurts. Yet, Jesus teaches us in Matthew 6:14 (NASB):
“For if you forgive other people for their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Forgiveness is not excusing wrong behavior. It is choosing to release bitterness and entrust justice to God. It is an act of obedience that sets our own hearts free from resentment.
Application: If you are holding onto unforgiveness, ask God for the strength to let go. Pray for the person who hurt you and surrender your pain to the Lord.
4. Kindness Seeks Peace, Not Revenge
The world teaches us to fight back, hold grudges, and seek revenge. But Jesus calls us to a higher way. Romans 12:17-18 (NASB) declares:
“Never repay evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.”
Kindness does not mean tolerating abuse or injustice, but it does mean pursuing peace wherever possible. It means valuing relationships over arguments and choosing reconciliation over retaliation.
Application: If there is someone with whom you have unresolved conflict, take a step toward peace. Pray for wisdom, reach out in kindness, and trust God to work in the situation.
Short Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for showing us kindness when we least deserved it. Teach us to reflect that same kindness in our words, actions, and responses to others. Help us to listen before we speak, to forgive quickly, and to pursue peace in all our relationships. May our kindness be a light that draws others closer to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Beloved, kindness is more than just a pleasant attitude—it is a powerful, godly response that brings healing, restoration, and peace. When we choose kindness in conflict, we become vessels of God’s grace, demonstrating His love to those around us.
Let us commit to practicing kindness daily—not just when it is easy, but especially when it is difficult. May we be peacemakers, healers, and examples of Christ’s love in a world that desperately needs it.