In a world where conflicts and misunderstandings often lead to division, it can be difficult to maintain a posture of kindness, especially when we feel hurt or wronged. We are often tempted to defend ourselves, seek revenge, or hold on to resentment. But what does God say about how we should respond when we are mistreated or confronted with hostility?
The virtue of kindness calls us to act counter-culturally—to respond with grace, even when we’re faced with injustice. The Apostle Paul provides guidance on how we can practice this virtue in Romans 12:17-19. These verses challenge us to reflect God’s love in the most difficult circumstances, encouraging us to live in peace and pursue kindness, even in the face of conflict.
Scriptural Reflection
In Romans 12:17-19 (NASB), Paul writes:
“Never repay evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-19 NASB)
Context of the Passage
In Romans 12, Paul shifts his focus from teaching about Christian beliefs to offering practical instructions on how to live out those beliefs in everyday life. Verses 17-19 address how believers should behave when confronted with evil or mistreatment. The underlying message is clear: as followers of Christ, we are called to respond to conflict and opposition with kindness, not vengeance. This stands in stark contrast to the world's tendency to repay evil with evil.
Paul calls us to live in peace with others, acknowledging that while we cannot control others' actions, we are responsible for how we respond. By choosing kindness, we demonstrate the character of Christ, who, though He was mistreated, chose to forgive and show mercy.
Key Message
The core message of this passage is that kindness is an active choice. It's not just about feeling kindly toward others, but actively doing good for them, even when they don’t deserve it. Paul encourages us to go beyond simply refraining from revenge—he calls us to bless our enemies, meet their needs, and overcome evil with good. Responding to conflict with kindness is a powerful testimony of God's love in action.
Practical Application
How do we take the teachings of Romans 12:17-19 and apply them to our everyday lives? Here are three actionable steps to help you cultivate kindness, even in moments of conflict.
Choose Peace Over Retaliation
The first step in practicing kindness is choosing peace instead of retaliation. When someone wrongs you, your natural response may be to defend yourself or retaliate. However, Paul urges us to “never repay evil for evil” (Romans 12:17). Instead, we are to seek peace as much as possible.
Practical example: If a friend speaks harshly to you, instead of responding in anger or gossiping about them to others, choose to speak with calmness and respect. You might say, “I hear your concerns, and I would like us to resolve this peacefully.” This decision to seek peace creates an opportunity for reconciliation and demonstrates the kindness of Christ.
Meet the Needs of Your Enemies
In verse 20, Paul writes, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink.” This is a radical call to go beyond merely tolerating those who oppose us and to actively seek to bless them. Practicing kindness in this way means meeting the tangible needs of others, even when they have wronged us.
Practical example: Imagine a colleague who has been rude or dismissive toward you. Rather than harboring resentment, choose to show kindness by offering help when they need it. Perhaps they need assistance with a project or are going through a personal struggle. By showing kindness in this way, you can break the cycle of bitterness and offer Christ’s love in a practical form.
Leave Vengeance to God
The temptation to get even with someone who has wronged us is strong. We may feel justified in seeking revenge or holding a grudge. But Romans 12:19 reminds us that vengeance belongs to God, not us. It’s not our job to punish or seek retribution. Instead, we are called to let God handle justice while we focus on doing good.
Practical example: If someone spreads lies about you, resist the urge to confront them with anger or seek revenge. Instead, pray for them and trust God to bring justice in His time. You can also ask God to help you forgive and release any bitterness, allowing His peace to fill your heart.
Encouragement to Stay Rooted
Responding to conflict with kindness is not always easy. There will be times when you feel deeply hurt or frustrated, and the temptation to retaliate will be strong. But remember, kindness is a fruit of the Spirit, and as you stay rooted in Him, He will empower you to reflect His love in all situations.
When you choose kindness over anger, peace over conflict, and forgiveness over revenge, you become a witness to the world of God’s transforming power. Your actions can open doors for healing, reconciliation, and spiritual growth.
Stay rooted in God’s Word, and when the challenges of conflict arise, remember that He is with you. He will give you the strength to overcome evil with good, to respond with love, and to let His peace reign in your heart.
Romans 12:17-19 offers a powerful reminder that kindness is not just a passive feeling, but an active choice. We are called to respond to conflict with love, to meet the needs of others, and to leave vengeance to God. When we live out these principles, we reflect the heart of Christ and become vessels of peace in a broken world.
This week, take time to reflect on how you can respond to conflict with kindness. Ask God to give you the strength to choose peace, to meet the needs of others, and to trust Him with justice. As you do, you will grow deeper in your faith and reflect the love of Christ more fully.
Prayer
Father, thank You for the example of kindness that You set before us through Jesus Christ. Help us to respond to conflict with love and peace, to meet the needs of others even when they don’t deserve it, and to trust You with the justice that is Yours alone. Strengthen our hearts, Lord, and fill us with Your Spirit so that we may overcome evil with good. In Jesus’ name, Amen.