Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conflict, feeling the urge to respond with harsh words or defensive actions? It's easy to let anger or frustration take the lead when we're hurt or misunderstood. But what if, in those moments of tension, we could pause and choose a different path? What if we responded with kindness, even when it's the last thing we want to do?
In the Christian life, responding to conflict with kindness is a powerful virtue that reflects the heart of God. It’s a way of showing grace and love that can disarm hostility and foster peace. In this post, we will explore how the virtue of kindness can transform our responses in moments of conflict, grounded in Colossians 3:12-15. This passage offers practical wisdom for how we can embody Christ-like kindness, especially when tensions arise.
Scriptural Reflection
Colossians 3:12-15 (NASB) says:
"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:12-15 NASB)
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Context of the Passage
The Apostle Paul wrote the letter to the Colossians to encourage them in their walk with Christ and to instruct them on living out their new identity in Him. In Colossians 3, Paul addresses how believers should conduct themselves, especially in relationships with one another. The virtues listed—compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness—are all part of the new identity that believers are called to embrace as members of the body of Christ.
This passage specifically emphasizes the role of kindness in fostering unity and peace within the Christian community. Kindness is not merely a passive quality but an active choice that brings healing and restores relationships. In moments of conflict, this verse urges believers to respond not with anger or defensiveness but with the very heart of Christ, who embodied perfect kindness.
Key Message
The key message in Colossians 3:12-15 is that kindness is an essential virtue for Christians—one that is rooted in God’s love for us and flows out of our new identity in Christ. When we face conflict, we are called to reflect Christ’s character, responding with patience, forgiveness, and love. Paul challenges us to choose kindness not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s difficult. By doing so, we bring peace and unity, both in our hearts and within the body of believers.
Practical Application
Now that we’ve explored the heart of the passage, how can we practically apply this virtue of kindness to our daily lives, especially in times of conflict? Here are three actionable steps to help you respond to conflict with kindness:
Put on Kindness Deliberately
Paul begins the passage by telling us to "put on" a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (Colossians 3:12). This metaphor of "putting on" suggests an intentional action. Just as we choose what to wear each day, we must choose to put on kindness. It’s a decision we make, regardless of how we feel in the moment.
Practical Example: When you're in a heated conversation, pause and ask yourself, "How can I respond with kindness?" Even if you're feeling frustrated, choose to respond gently, without harsh words. By consciously choosing kindness, you align yourself with God’s heart and allow His peace to guide your response.
Bear with One Another and Forgive
In conflict, we’re often faced with the challenge of forgiving those who have wronged us. Paul encourages us to bear with one another and forgive, just as the Lord has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13). Kindness isn’t just about a soft response in the moment—it’s also about a willingness to forgive and move forward, letting go of grudges and bitterness.
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Practical Example: If someone at work or in your family has hurt you, choose to forgive them—not just with your words, but with your actions. Let go of any desire for revenge or to hold something against them. Offer kindness through forgiveness, knowing that God has already forgiven you.
Let the Peace of Christ Rule in Your Hearts
Verse 15 tells us to "let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." When we allow Christ’s peace to reign in our lives, it transforms how we handle conflict. The peace of Christ gives us the strength to remain calm, to respond with kindness, and to pursue reconciliation rather than division.
Practical Example: When you feel anger rising during a disagreement, take a deep breath and invite the peace of Christ into your heart. Pray for God’s peace to fill you, and ask for His guidance on how to respond in a way that honors Him. As you seek His peace, it will empower you to act with kindness, even in challenging moments.
Encouragement to Stay Rooted
Responding with kindness in conflict isn’t always easy. Our emotions can easily take over, and our natural reactions might not align with the gentle, loving responses God desires. However, Paul encourages us to keep our hearts rooted in Christ’s love. When we are connected to Him, He will help us to grow in these virtues and empower us to act in ways that reflect His character.
Remember, kindness is not a one-time action but a continuous choice—a practice that deepens as we remain rooted in God’s Word and His love. Even when it’s difficult, stay rooted in kindness, knowing that God is faithful and will give you the strength to live out His commands.
Colossians 3:12-15 teaches us that kindness is an essential virtue for believers, one that fosters unity and peace in our relationships. As we respond to conflict with kindness, we reflect Christ’s love and bring healing to the situation. By putting on kindness deliberately, forgiving one another, and allowing the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts, we can embody the love of God in all circumstances.
This week, I challenge you to focus on one area of conflict in your life and respond with kindness. Whether it’s in your family, workplace, or friendships, choose to reflect God’s heart through gentle words and actions. Allow kindness to be your first response, trusting that God will use it to bring about peace and reconciliation.
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the kindness You have shown to us, even when we didn’t deserve it. Help us to respond to conflict with the same kindness and grace that You have shown us. Teach us to forgive those who wrong us and to let Your peace rule in our hearts. Give us the strength to put on kindness each day and to reflect Your love in every situation. We trust that You will guide us and empower us to live out this virtue, for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen.