Self-Control in Our Words and Reactions
Beloved church family, self-control is a precious and necessary strength in our spiritual journey, especially in a world where we often face frustrations, misunderstandings, and pressures that tempt us to respond in ways we later regret. James 1:19-20 (NASB) provides us with powerful guidance on self-control, reminding us of the importance of being “quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”
“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” — James 1:19-20 (NASB)
Here, James gives us a roadmap for handling life’s pressures with grace and patience. When we commit to hearing, speaking, and responding in ways that honor God, we build a foundation of self-control that strengthens our walk with Him and helps us become a light to others. Today, let’s explore four practical points based on this powerful scripture.
Point 1: Quick to Hear – The Discipline of Listening
Scriptural Insight: James urges us to be “quick to hear.” Listening well is not merely about hearing sounds; it’s about intentionally giving others the space to be heard, understood, and valued. Self-control begins with the humility to pause and listen, resisting the urge to respond immediately.
Application: Listening is foundational to self-control because it requires us to put aside our own thoughts, opinions, and defenses in favor of understanding others. In our relationships, whether in church, at work, or within our families, being “quick to hear” can prevent misunderstandings and deepen our connections. When we are quick to listen, we reflect God’s heart—a heart that hears His children.
Practically, this may look like setting down our phones or giving our undivided attention to someone who needs to talk. Make a habit of asking clarifying questions before sharing your perspective. By fostering a heart of listening, we build relationships founded on respect, love, and patience, cultivating a self-control that’s rooted in understanding and empathy.
Point 2: Slow to Speak – The Power of Thoughtful Words
Scriptural Insight: James continues by instructing us to be “slow to speak.” Speaking with self-control is essential because words, once spoken, cannot be taken back. Hasty words can damage relationships, disrupt unity, and undermine our witness.
Application: Self-control in our speech means pausing before we speak, asking ourselves if our words are true, helpful, necessary, and kind. Proverbs 21:23 tells us, “He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles.” When we are slow to speak, we make room for God’s wisdom, allowing His Spirit to guide our responses rather than reacting impulsively.
In practice, this might look like taking a deep breath before responding in a heated discussion or choosing to speak words that build up rather than tear down. Before speaking, pray silently, asking the Holy Spirit to help you use words that honor God and bring grace to those around you. This habit not only strengthens our self-control but also enhances our ability to show Christ’s love in every conversation.
Point 3: Slow to Anger – Resisting Emotional Reactions
Scriptural Insight: James teaches us to be “slow to anger.” Anger in itself is not sinful, but it becomes dangerous when we let it control us. Unchecked anger can lead to impulsive decisions, hurtful words, and damaged relationships, none of which produce the righteousness of God.
Application: Cultivating self-control over anger involves recognizing our emotions, surrendering them to God, and choosing to respond rather than react. In moments of frustration, pause and pray, asking God for patience. Remember that anger often clouds judgment, leading us to act in ways that do not reflect God’s love or truth.
Practice self-control over anger by taking time to reflect before responding to situations that provoke you. Consider walking away briefly or silently praying for peace. By practicing patience in moments of anger, we reflect God’s peace and demonstrate a self-control that honors Him and strengthens our witness to others.
Point 4: Pursuing the Righteousness of God – The Goal of Self-Control
Scriptural Insight: Finally, James reminds us that “the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” Self-control is not merely about refraining from anger but about aligning our reactions with God’s character and His desire for us to walk in righteousness.
Application: Pursuing God’s righteousness means that in every interaction, we strive to reflect His grace, patience, and love. Self-control allows us to be a witness of God’s transformative power, showing the world that we are governed by His Spirit, not by our impulses. By allowing God to shape our responses, we grow closer to His image and invite others to experience His love through us.
In practical terms, set daily reminders to meditate on God’s Word and seek His guidance in all things. Ask Him to help you in moments of weakness and to strengthen you in moments of frustration. This pursuit of righteousness is a journey of faith and reliance on God, trusting Him to lead us as we grow in self-control.
Living Self-Controlled Lives that Reflect Christ
Beloved, self-control is more than just an individual discipline; it’s a testimony of God’s work within us. When we are quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, we allow His Spirit to work in us, refining our reactions and transforming our relationships. Let us remember that our self-control is a witness to the world, pointing others to the peace, love, and patience of Jesus Christ.
As we go forth, may we be mindful of our words, attitudes, and reactions, asking God to guide us in every moment. Let us commit ourselves to being agents of peace, patience, and grace, empowered by His Spirit to live in self-control. Through His strength, we can stand firm, resist temptation, and bring glory to God in all we do.